Im hating it

Fine. Just continue to hate me. Its ok.

Everytime, I just try to be nice and friendly to you. Yet, what have i recieved from you other than anger, cold stares from you, shouts from you. What more can I expect? Should i stop trying to be nice to you even though i'm sure all i will recieve are your stares and shouts? Its really emotionally draining for me, you know? What have I even done? How can i apologise if I dont know what wrong I had done? This is screwed up, realy screwed up. Hate me for all you want, but please, just leave me alone.

This is really depressing. I studied for my mid year exams. I know did. But why? Why are my results yet so screwed? I studied. I really did. Hais. Just cant get it. It is just me? Or is it just that I have not put in enough effort? But thats it. I'm really demoralise now. And on top of my screwed results, my relationship with my parents are really bad. So now, Im really demoralised and down.

I DONT WANNA GO FOR MY CCAs ANYMORE! I just cant face ** **** again. Months have past since the ODAC trip to HongKong. And ever since that day, I had been pondering over 1 question. I cant really say it out. But really, why? I at least the captain of the cross country team right?! Even if I might not have been a good captain, i at least have helped out in some ways right?! But why? Why wasnt I chosen? Is he really better than me? I really dont think so. Seriously, I feel that i surpass him in everyway. But why? This is crap man.